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Hollywood Squares

Posted: 12/17/08 12:18pmMessage 1 of 3
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Wichita, KS - USA
Joined: 11/10/2003
Posts: 6870
Vette(s): 2005 Daytona Sunset Orange Metallic Coupe --------------------- Sold 1974 T-top, 4 spd to BillKS

Hollywood Squares: 

If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.. 

Q. Do female frogs croak? 

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. 

Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? 

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. 

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. 

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. 

Q.You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? 

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. 

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? 

A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning. 

Q.Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? 

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. 

 Q.As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? 

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. 

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? 

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. 

Q.Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? 

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. 

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? 

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. 

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? 

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? 

Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? 

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. 

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? 

A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. 

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? 

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected. 

Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? 

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. 

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? 

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 

Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? 

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. 

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? 

A. Charley Weaver: His feet. 

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? 

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

 

 

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Hollywood Squares

Posted: 12/17/08 12:24pmMessage 2 of 3
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Larry, I pretty much agree with most of the given answers.........Thumbs%20Up

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Hollywood Squares

Posted: 12/17/08 12:27pmMessage 3 of 3
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Cramerton, NC - USA
Joined: 8/22/2006
Posts: 1094
Vette(s): black 1982 coupe slate gray interior, 350 crossfire, 1985 fuel pump, Steeroids R&P conversion
I laughed from start to finish on this post, thanks for posting Larry
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